I often find myself being a negative person. So, everyday I try to find something new to be extremely happy about. And, when life eventually catches up to me around 5 o’clock and the stress starts to pound in my ears. I think of Bette Davis who said : “You will never be happier than you expect. To change your happiness, change your expectation.”
So my changed expectation is to look at everyday with a new found light. However, as I had a heart to heart with someone today I decided that I needed a list. A list of things that I loved.
Love is a big theme for me (if you haven’t noticed)
. You could be a complete stranger and I could honestly say to you, with complete honesty, that I did in fact love you.
So, my love list:
- God. I often forget that no matter how alone I feel, he will always love me.
- Family. I take them for granted…a lot.
- Friends. They are few and far between, but the one I do have, mean the world. Especially new ones that have had an impact on me lately.
- Best friends. I only have two. But I think I’m getting more. I’m trusting and loving more openly now.
- Ex-boyfriends. Yes, guys, I love you too. Not for only making me smile at some point in my life, but for teaching me (for a short while) that it’s okay to be myself.
- Church. I live my week for my Sunday evenings at my church. Maryland Community is my second home.
- Second-families. I used to be a huge loner, I wouldn’t go out of the house much. Now, I’m going to California with a “second-family” and they, are in fact a huge deal.
- My dog. Even when people are mad at me, my dog always wags her tail when she sees me. (My cat not so much.)
- Sunsets. I always appreciate beauty. Always.
- People who walk away. You have all taught me that I have to realize that, even if I have seen you everyday for a months on end, I have to make sure I know who I am when I’m alone.
- People who have stayed. Through all those good times and all those crazy times and all those dramatic times, you all have loved me.
- Distant friends. I’m talking about one person in particular. He’s stayed by me for almost a year now. We still talk everyday. He doesn’t know it, but he keeps me from falling apart sometimes.
- Ice cream. My one enemy. And I adore you for all your caloric goodness.
- Listeners. I have few and seldom people I talk to about my problems. For the one of you that are good at just listening and letting me rant, I thank you.
- Talkers. For the ones who do eight other things while I’m trying to talk to you about something really important to me. Thank you for the patience.
- Supporters. I’m not a good supporter. I’m bad at it. I never know what to say or when to say it or how to say it. I lose out on a lot of (what could have been) great relationships because of this flaw. For those of you who still support me through this, you’ve taught me the most.
Je serai toujours l’éloge
,
K.