My brain has been so clumsy lately that it’s almost hard to put into words. I can feel God pulling me in a direction but it’s like the lights are off, I’m upside down, and have 8 people screaming my name. It’s just not clear yet and I’m not sure it’s supposed to be. I’ve always been a ‘fix it’ sort of person so I have an eerie feeling God is trying to show me his moves on what he can do in my life if I just rely on him. (Easier said then done.)
But with a clumsy mind, comes a clumsy heart as his evil sidekick. And I find myself back at the God’s feet every Sunday saying the same things and hearing the same response. And the week drags on and I’m back again into the same routine and that I know will never change. Then Sunday comes and I’m back down on my knees; praying to God to give me strength that I know will fail and wisdom that I know I won’t listen to.
I’m really going to try this week. I’m going to try to turn down every advance, turn to other cheek to every comment. I’m going to throw myself into the Word and just try to ignore the outside world. I’m going to try and realize that there is more to life than giving up halfway through the week and falling back into it.
And, I know this sounds confusing to some. Some of you have no idea what I’m talking about and some of you that know all too well. So I’m sorry for the confusing post. But then again, I’m not. Because at least you are getting a peek into my chaotic head that really, honestly…makes no sense to even the person who has it.
-Kelsie