Ever since I was a freshman in high school I have went from one boyfriend to the next. I know this sounds arrogant but I’ve never really been alone. For the past 2 months I have been shoved out of a few peoples lives by them and it’s been a huge wake up call.
For every boyfriend I have had count that as a broken heart personally shattered by yours truly. Every boyfriend I have had, I have broken up with. With little to no tears. But recently tables are flipped and I have had this question thrown at me by at least ten different people.
How did I deal with hurting so many people?
If you asked me that six months ago I probably would have said it was easy for me because I didn’t mean that much to them in the first place. And, to some extent that is probably true. Obviously no guy that I have been with so far is who I’m meant to marry. However, I know I meant something to them. And even if they say that I meant nothing then they meant something to me.
But now, with my life somewhat evening out and my soul getting back to the place where I have wanted it to be for the longest time…I don’t know how to answer that.
My life has always been this dramatic soap opera from one boy to the next and now that there is no boy and no distraction from the pain that I caused every one of them…I don’t know how I could look at any of them in the face.
Then last night I had a realization.
Sometimes what is meant to happen, happens the hard way.
My whole life I have learned lessons the hard way. Maybe love is one of those lessons I will always learn different from everyone else. Lets just hope I find someone who learns it the same way.
-K